I hate sympathies as much as you do. I do not like
people coming up to me and consoling. What has happened was bound to happen don’t
rub it in by talking more about it.
This is no sympathy but I just want to share what I learnt. Over the weekend, I met a
couple of people who were rescued from The Taj and Oberoi Trident. Trembling feet, sweaty palms, uneasiness, it was all evident. I couldn't help but meet psychologists Seema Hingoranny and Varkha Chulani soon after. The trauma seems to have taken over
the city. Not only those who have gone through the pain and rescued or those
who lost their loved ones but also who have been watching it on television have
been affected. The city was surrounded is by negative vibes.
For those, who experienced themselves, don’t be shattered by the same
repetitive thoughts of blood and dead bodies. Loss of sleep and appetite may
come along. There will be a sudden bounce of violence. Deep fear has set into
people’s mind. Even a slightest noise
will make you jump. You may feel disconnected with the real world.
Understand that you are not alone. There are a lot of people with you. If you
want to break down or cry, do that. Men can also cry. Crying is not a weak
emotion, it is a natural emotion.
Many of us will give them idiotic terms that ‘move on’ and ‘be strong’. Allow
them to be humans. Let them go through disbelief to depression, fear, anger and
relief that I am alive.
For those, who lost their near and dear ones, I know the pain goes beyond
words.
The more you allow yourselves to be in that zone to, so to speak, will be
better for you. ‘Move on’ is such a cliché and an insensitive term. You need
tolerance and patience. Face it. Do not fight with your emotions.
If you are a heart patient or going through chronic depression, minimize your
exposure to television.
I know that what has happened is terribly tragic but these kinds of tragedies
give us a wake-up call from deep slumber. Life was becoming superficial and we were
beginning to get complacent. We should reconsider the way we have been thinking
not by lighting candles or wearing a black and white t-shirt.
Admit it or not, none of us can really do anything about the terror attacks. As
I write this, or as you light a candle, another terror attack must be being planned
for some other country. Sadly, I do not
even blame the politicians for it.
Life is uncertain. And the guarantee that life has to be perfect seems fading.
Everything can change in a millisecond. Accept the uncertainty of life. Put
aside pettiness, minimize grudges, value your life and make a difference to yourself,
friends and society at large.
Post traumatic stress is very normal and you WILL come out of it. Intense counselling
and medication helps.
Special thanks to psychologist Seema Hingorrany and Varkha Chulani