Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’2009
 
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.

The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable  than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now.
 
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not  understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. 

But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….

You’re not as fat as you  imagine. Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.

The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that  never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday. Do one thing everyday that scares you... Sing.

Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours. Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes  you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you  succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.

Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your  life…the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.

Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky  chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary…what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.

Enjoy your body,  use it every way you can…don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own...Dance..even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly. Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for  good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you  should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young. Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will  philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders. Respect your elders. Don’t expect anyone else to support you.

Maybe you have a trust fund,  maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.  Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85. Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who  supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen… :)

'Learn to let go.'

I was amazed by her observation - how did she know about this ordeal of mine.

"Those old clothes, those old smses, those old files...  They tell me enough. Let them go....You are not creating space for newer things in life." 

Letting go is one of the most difficult thing for most of us. Just the thought of not having "that" as a part of your life anymore, is a heavy feeling…



To forgive and forget is not as easy as it is to type or say.

“But you should just set yourself free and LET GO. Because if you don't, you will wake up every morning hating him or her a little more… You will never be able to live it down. It will fester inside you like a silent predatory illness and ultimately bring everything down.  

When you let go with grace and allow the person or thing their freedom towards their journey, you will never lose them, they will always visit you back. It is when you want to own another's time and space that you restrict them enough to move away and never return.

Letting go is a virtue of allowing.... allowing others a right to their own journey, freedom and learning.

And the tragedy is when you forgive someone in actual terms, when you forgive because you want to and because you have no insecurities or helplessness, that's when you realize that it doesn't matter. And then you also realize that you DON'T love anymore!”

He came and whispered in my ears, “Baby, this will be the most wonderful year of your life.” As he started walking away from me, I stood there and wished for him to turn back. And he did. I smiled at him and I made another wish. He smiled back and said ‘Granted’

He says that for everything I wish! I could be joking. I could be angry. I could be happy. I could be sad. He doesn’t know all that, he only knows that my wish is his command.

Since he was giving away all my wishes, I asked for another one! The world wants to know the secret to happiness. If you let me know the secret, I could pass it on to the world.

He said, 'Give'

I asked, ‘What?’

‘Give yourself away… for free’

To be happy, be full of yourself. Love yourself. Care for yourself so much so that it overflows and then you have excess of it. Rather than letting it go waste – GIVE.

Give praises, Give smiles, Give love, Give warmth, Give hugs, Give ideas, Give a helping hand.

You can only give if you have it first. When you start giving, you discover all that’s hidden in you. Giving will not make you poorer, it makes you richer. When you give ‘yourself’, you have no expectations because few things can never be paid back.

How about having this as your resolution? Giving is not that tough. The day you start doing that, you will realize how simple it is and its power.

Also, be careful what you ask for. Because your wish is His command. Wish for only good things in life and they will come true.

I hate sympathies as much as you do. I do not like people coming up to me and consoling. What has happened was bound to happen don’t rub it in by talking more about it.

This is no sympathy but I just want to share what I learnt. Over the weekend, I met a couple of people who were rescued from The Taj and Oberoi Trident. Trembling feet, sweaty palms, uneasiness, it was all evident. I couldn't help but meet psychologists Seema Hingoranny and Varkha Chulani soon after. The trauma seems to have taken over the city. Not only those who have gone through the pain and rescued or those who lost their loved ones but also who have been watching it on television have been affected. The city was surrounded is by negative vibes.

For those, who experienced themselves, don’t be shattered by the same repetitive thoughts of blood and dead bodies. Loss of sleep and appetite may come along. There will be a sudden bounce of violence. Deep fear has set into people’s mind.  Even a slightest noise will make you jump. You may feel disconnected with the real world.

Understand that you are not alone. There are a lot of people with you. If you want to break down or cry, do that. Men can also cry. Crying is not a weak emotion, it is a natural emotion.

Many of us will give them idiotic terms that ‘move on’ and ‘be strong’. Allow them to be humans. Let them go through disbelief to depression, fear, anger and relief that I am alive.

For those, who lost their near and dear ones, I know the pain goes beyond words.

The more you allow yourselves to be in that zone to, so to speak, will be better for you. ‘Move on’ is such a cliché and an insensitive term. You need tolerance and patience. Face it. Do not fight with your emotions.

If you are a heart patient or going through chronic depression, minimize your exposure to television.

I know that what has happened is terribly tragic but these kinds of tragedies give us a wake-up call from deep slumber.  Life was becoming superficial and we were beginning to get complacent. We should reconsider the way we have been thinking not by lighting candles or wearing a black and white t-shirt.

Admit it or not, none of us can really do anything about the terror attacks. As I write this, or as you light a candle, another terror attack must be being planned for some other country.  Sadly, I do not even blame the politicians for it.

Life is uncertain. And the guarantee that life has to be perfect seems fading. Everything can change in a millisecond. Accept the uncertainty of life. Put aside pettiness, minimize grudges, value your life and make a difference to yourself, friends and society at large.

Post traumatic stress is very normal and you WILL come out of it. Intense counselling and medication helps.

Special thanks to psychologist Seema Hingorrany and Varkha Chulani

If you’d ask me, which was your favourite movie in the year 2008? My instant reply would be - A WEDNESDAY!

It’s got no bhashan, no preaching! It’s a mirror of our condition and sadly, nothing can be done. I don’t remember a minute I was distracted. I have never been so much into in a film, or anything else, perhaps!

Naseerudin Shah plans a blast in Mumbai and very bravely he tells the policemen about it. Inspite of them knowing about it, the helplessness is evident. Protecting people is a priority and at the same time, they have to placate the terrorist to stop them from firing/blast and find out the spots.

Crux being, today it is so simple to plan a blast. Naseerudin was no terrorist. He was a common man. If he can do it, if he can plant a bomb in a POLICE STATION, think about the guys who are trained for 20 years just to do this.

It was mind boggling. It had the effect on me for a week. Sadly, yesterday was a wednesday too and the attack continues even today. And today, again as I see the dead count going up, it doesn’t make me sad. It makes me angry.

Angry because I am not doing anything to make it better. Angry because I do not have the guts to go up to them and shoot them all dead. Angry because they will do this until they are dead! Angry because I will have to wait till I am dead!

A Wednesday – A must watch for each Indian or perhaps everyone who will be dead, sooner or later!

But if you want to do something about it before you or your loved ones die, you can do something about it. Let’s start right away.

Step forward and together, step back and together. Well, it’s SALSA that I am talking about. My life has got a new purpose - to be a Salsa instructor!

I totally love it. I use to wonder how two strangers come together and perform an extremely synchronized salsa. I am glad I know it too but I guess it’s only with my batch mates. ;-)

Not that I enjoy dancing with strangers!

Moving on, it’s an hour long session by Sandeep Soparkar, the best Salsa dancer in town. Basic, cuckurajaa, side to side, hand to hand, turn.. these are few steps I have learnt. It just keeps me going.

If you are looking forward for some fun in life and learn something new. Join SALSA! It just separates you from the rest of the world for an hour and the day after that. You will see yourself revising those steps. ;-)

So, an addition to my ambition list is – You know what!

Do enrol yourself before the registrations close.